Thursday, July 9, 2009

People are everywhere! Everywhere! People!

So, as the summer begins to hammer away at Los Angeles with, I'm told, its usual ferocity reminiscent of motivated illegal Mexican immigrants under threat of deportation, people start dressing kinda funny. I can understand how the heat might do strange things to your brain, causing you to imagine that pulling your socks up all the way, despite wearing them with sandals, is a good idea. Plus, there are tourists, who are notorious for sock-related badness.

But, really, girl crossing the street...was it really a good idea to wear a front-clasp black bra, short shorts, and flip flops in public? Also, middle aged man on a skateboard, despite your "busting" some funky "moves", you are not a teenager anymore. Also shave your moustache.

I saved up my grocery shopping until 10pm last night, and was rewarded by seeing Lindsay Lohan stalk irately into the Ralph's and loiter sullenly in the imported cheese section, shouting into her cell phone. She was drawing attention to herself not because she was Lindsay Lohan, but because she was shouting. In the cheese section. This is not to say that shouting in any other section would have gone over better, only that I don't really think Ralph's is the place for shouting.

This is the same Ralph's that I think I saw Sandra Bullock at the other day, and just as an aside, I think Sandra Bullock is probably actually quite fun to hang out with. I think she swears a lot.

And also, malls here are different. Back on the east coast, malls have Forever 21 in them, or Claire's, or Orange Julius. Sometimes they have a Hot Topic. Here, they have 7 For All Mankind, and Diesel. Same mall smell. Same crappy made-in-Chinese-sweatshops-by-gang-raped-fourteen-year-olds merchandise. Higher prices. Los Angeles is like the East Coast, only with a thin gloss of "expensive" over everything.

2 comments:

MaggieMayDay said...

MyLarry is the King of Sock Badness. I would like to apologize to the world.

I was raised nomadically, however, I am a Californian to the bone. I have come to love Utah, but in my head, I live in Japan. Except I hate sashimi, or avocados in my sushi.

Laura Hagglund said...

both comment and blog: bahahaha haha!